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I was languising but nobody knew.

I was languising but nobody knew.
Hi everyone!

Hope you got inspiration from Em's story entry

If you just tuned in, members of Viviamo Inc. are sharing our personal stories of languishing and how we were able to overcome it.

To encourage you to stay hopeful and positive–moving forward in life with creativity and purpose.

Here’s Cha:

***

Who would have thought?

That we'll actually experience a period in history that’s one for the books.

Hopefully, you are surviving and thriving. 

Living in a pandemic for me has been a roller coaster ride.

Days before the first lockdown, I just started a new job. I moved to a new city and was in a new relationship. Every aspect of my life felt bright and positive. I felt like everything was going according to plan. 

Then BAM! 

The Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) was announced.

Everything was at a standstill. 

At that time, I felt okay. 

It was an opportunity to stay at home, save money and avoid the horrendous Manila traffic.

But just a month later...

I was forced to move back to my parents’ house because my job was declared redundant, rendering me jobless.

My boyfriend and I broke up and the whole family got covid. 

I was sick, broken, and broke. 

I thought, “Is this what rock bottom feels like? Because it is a feeling that I won’t ever wish to happen to anyone, even to my worst enemies.”

For months, I would cry myself to sleep, every single night. I had a taste of the life I always wanted only to have taken away in an instant.

I was languishing but nobody knew. 

Outside, I am still the same jolly girl who would laugh at the silliest jokes and would offer a shoulder to cry on for others. But deep inside, I needed a hand to pull me up. 

It went on for months until I had enough!

I took out my notebook and pen and I started writing. 

I wrote everything -- my frustrations, the pain and betrayal I felt when my ex left me, the feeling of uselessness because I couldn’t find a job, all the negative feelings I have been keeping inside. 

I poured my heart out on those pages. (I was a bitch in those writing)

Every single day I would write. Then one night, I was surprised that my journal entry no longer sounds bitter. It just dawned on me–the reasons why everything had to happen. I was even surprised I was able to forgive.

I cried for one last time. But this time, it wasn't a cry of desperation.

It was a cry of gratitude. I finally got the courage to start taking steps towards becoming happy. 

I still had challenges and tough times…

But now, I know how to cope with my emotions and process my feelings so I won’t feel like the world is against me again. 

If you’re going through something challenging too…

I want you to know that everything will be alright. 

Take a paper, a notebook, journal, planner, anything -- then write down your thoughts. 

Don’t filter it! 

It doesn’t have to be perfect… It doesn’t even have to make sense…

Just write and keep writing until you are able to process your feelings. 

And if you feel stuck, look at the moon – the moon is our reminder that even in our dark phases, we are still whole. 

You got this!

***

Dar