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I want to have my own family.

I want to have my own family.

It's been a wild 2021 and we look forward to the challenges and surprises of 2022.

Here's Chico with her story:

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If you asked me five years ago what my ideal life is, I would have said…

I want to be married to the man who I loved for more than 10 years. 

I have a baby girl named Summer. I’m a stay-at-home mom working on freelance projects so I have a lot of time with kids. I live a simple life with my happy family.

But life dealt a different set of cards and none of that actually happened. 

I am single. I’m a crazy workaholic who doesn’t know when to stop working. When I’m not on my laptop, I’m on my phone. 

I’ve always been scared of talking in front of a lot of people.  And yet… I already gave talks, led workshops and presentations. I have also participated in several exhibits and community-driven projects. I am living independently and I’m far off from the person that I used to be. 

Two very different worlds.

Don’t get me wrong. I am good where I am now but sometimes, when my world is spinning out of control, I'd stop and wish that I had that family now. 

I wish I was inside my house playing with my children. I imagine having that ice-cold beer with my husband while we talk about our day and our plans for the future. It pains me that’s not my reality but I really like myself more now. 

I’m still putting the pieces together after my heartbreak 5 years back. I’ve never loved and accepted myself this much before.

What has helped me cope with all these? 

Non-stop planning and goal setting. 

It seems the universe has plans for me but I can’t sit by and wait. I’ve made tons of lists on what I want to achieve in 1-3-6-12 months. Then I moved it up to 2-5-7 years. I mapped out the different ways in how I can achieve those goals. Plan A-Z just in case something doesn’t go as planned. 

Life is full of uncertainty.

I’m not saying that I’ve had it all figured out but what I know is that when in the right mind space, we can take control and nothing really is impossible.

To close, I am leaving you with a special message that my best friend shared with me when I was at my lowest. I hope this can inspire you also to have courage no matter what and face life with your head up high.

“Don’t dwell on the past, but instead move forward with excitement and positive energy. Instead of worrying about potentially bad situations, go onwards and upwards with the certainty that there are good and beautiful days ahead and that you create your own destiny."

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